How to Choose A Word of the Year

Hey guys! We made it through and I cannot believe that 2023 would do us like this and be over in the blink of an eyelash. 

I know that I am not the only one who felt like it was literally JUST February 2023? 

It’s that time of year, so I have been thinking a lot about next year and planning and praying. This year, I am doing a much smaller version of the vision board that I won’t feel like I have to throw away when we move (see updates here)! This small version of the vision board is in my START planner. I love it because when I am trying to make plans, I can just refer back to my vision board in my planner to inspire me.

I’ll have to pull the planner things into another post in the future.

“Yes, yes, Lise, but what is the word???”

Continue reading “How to Choose A Word of the Year”

Rest Day

Of course, the cardiology fellow WOULD be talking about how she needs to get rest, right?

If you know me, though, you know that I have been trying to take a day for rest since I was in med school, when the temptation to work every day was overwhelming. I always felt behind and that I wouldn’t ever catch up if I didn’t take every single day and try and gulp some of the water down from the proverbial firehose that we call medical school.

One of these days in medical school (I think it was while I was studying for STEP 1 or 2), I realized that if I didn’t take this rest day, it felt like my brain would stop working.

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Our

During wedding ceremonies, there are symbolic rituals that people typically do. One of my favorite ones from our own wedding (8 years ago now, can’t believe it!) was the salt ceremony.  If you have been to weddings, you have seen a million different variations of the same thing- the couple buys tons sand and has them in separate containers for the ceremony and then pours them into one container. This represents two lives, two homes, two people becoming combined. Even more- it is a covenantal representation, saying that the union is broken only if you can separate the grains of sand again after it has been poured in together (to signify the impossibility). Some people use different colored sand and then put it somewhere in their home to remind them of their covenant and for decoration.

Ours were identical containers of salt that we poured into a larger container, thus rendering the two collections of salt indistinguishable from one another.

I described this well-known marital ritual to now bring up a controversial topic. When we get married, there is no longer mine, and yours and everything becomes ours.

We become one flesh.

We have one home ( I mean I assume most of us have one home, but y’all may be Beyoncé and Jay for all I know).

Everything we have is combined.

That includes money, possessions, shoot, even leftover food.

Too often, I find myself saying things like my car, your keys, my food. The real term is – and say it with me- ours.

Rome often reminds me of this because the implications can be dangerous if you let the mentality behind the words mine and yours casually continue.

In fact, Rome would advocate for making it so that you CAN’T say this is mine and that is yours, especially for the big stuff. We have joint accounts, making sure that both people’s names are on the cars, and on our mortgage, etc.

This is marriage, that you are no longer two but have become intertwined as one.

Mark 10:8

and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh.

Also, shout out to Rome and I! We celebrated 8 years of marriage last month!

Love,

Lise (and Rome)

Open Handed Plans

I am an obsessive planner by nature. Paper planners are my medium, but I will tolerate a good digital planner that has lots of colors.  There’s just something about pens, blank pieces of paper, and the promise of endless possibilities that brings me so much joy. Also there’s something about a blank poster board, glue, tape, magazines, scissors, and writing down my moonshot dreams that I adore.  I love that vision board parties have become a thing because I have an excuse to do arts and crafts like I did in grade school with the added bonus of planning out my year like a madwoman.

I planned like this for my 2020. I wanted to do all sorts of things like do another marathon, write a book (clearly my moonshot dream), read 50 books, read through the bible, and go on a cruise.

Needless to say, 2020 happened and everything changed.

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About That Time I Became Sad

Who didn’t want to share this one? Me. I didn’t want to talk about it.

This one may come as a surprise to some of you, but I thought it was important to share about my struggle with depression.

Continue reading “About That Time I Became Sad”

Hypocrisy

Hey guys, this has been on my heart and I wanted to tell you what has been going on with me.

One of the reasons that I feel like I haven’t been writing as much is that when I find something that I want to talk about- it sometimes ends up feeling hypocritical. I can’t write a post about how I like working out in the morning if I stopped working out in the morning because it just didn’t fit with my schedule anymore. Or, I feel like I can’t write a post about supporting your husband in his endeavors when I am currently not being a supportive wife.

I have bitten the apple of perfection and when I don’t measure up, it’s not worth sharing.

In other words, I felt like I failed you by writing as an imperfect person.

God is showing me that perfection has never been my story. It has never been my advantage in life.

It’s not even fair for me to expect perfection from myself. That is like saying that I am self-sufficient, when truly I am prone to and even eclipsed by flaws and vulnerabilities. I am not always going to be the best at everything and I surely am not going to get everything right on the first try. In fact, I am pretty bad at a lot of things and I am still trying to figure out most things.

I have learned that this is ok. It’s ok to have missed the boat on how to pose for pictures or do your makeup right every day or dress like an adult person. I have to have grace with myself and I don’t have to appear to be perfect for anyone. The Bible actually talks about God’s grace being sufficient for us when we are weak and imperfect.

2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

I hope that by being completely honest and grace-filled with myself, you can also take encouragement and be grace-filled with yourself. Admit your flaws, He knows them already. Remember why you have a need for a savior in the first place- imperfection.

I hope this serves as a kind of disclaimer for my future posts- ahem, I don’t do anything perfectly and we are all learning together.

Love you guys,

Lise

Why Make Time for Bible Study?

When I was invited to be a part of a bible study here, my first thoughts were- “Wait, I am already so busy, how could I possibly fit this into my schedule?” I’m sure the “No” was already written on my keyboard with several words around it explaining that I was just, regrettably, too busy. Around this same time, my dear husband reminded me of one of the verses that I have stood on before and now I am trying to live by again (2019 goals, y’all).

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33 NIV

What this meant to me in college was that no matter what, the things of God came first.
This meant that I went to bible study, even when I didn’t feel like it. I went to church, even when I wasn’t particularly inspired to. I met with my sisters in Christ when I wanted to take a nap.
God really blessed that season in my life because of diligence and commitment.

So, back to the not so recent past, Rome was reminding me of this verse and our previous commitment to it.
I deleted the speech in my messages saying “No” and responded instead with a “Yes”. I haven’t looked back since.
I showed up not knowing anything about the type of bible study we were doing- an inductive bible study. I didn’t really know any of these women at my new church, and I questioned whether I really had time for a bible study which required me to do homework.
After the initial meeting, I realized that this kind of bible study is perfect for me.

It fit into my schedule because I usually am not working in the evening and when I am, it’s short lived and I can still keep up with the lessons. This Bible study allowed me to stay connected, though sometimes I am not able to attend regular Sunday morning worship service (I’ll tell more about this in another post). Finally, it kept me accountable with getting in the word every day. No one wants to be that girl/guy that didn’t do the lesson and is unprepared, so I did as much of it as I could and tried to show up and participate.

Why is bible study even important, Lise? Glad you asked.
1. Learning about the Word
This is the main reason for going to any Bible Study. There is so much more to learn about the word and there are infinite things about God that we need to know. The cool thing about it is that I get to spend my daily time in the word by doing the bible study. Then, I get to spend more time with the ladies in my Bible study and we get to talk about what we read during our week. I get different perspectives from them and I am always scribbling the insightful things that people say into my notebook.

2. Fellowship, fellowship, fellowship
Through this Bible study, I have gotten to know some of the ladies from my church really well. I definitely wouldn’t have these connections if I had chosen to stay at home and squander my precious time watching hallmark movies and HGTV.
Also, honestly, fellowship is a big deal- the Bible talks a lot about being surrounded by brothers and sisters in Christ and loving them (its much easier to love someone you interact with), and it also talks about how we should not neglect fellowship.
It’s a big deal.

…not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. Hebrews 10:25

3. Mentorship
I am in a relatively young church (young as in age of the church and the age of the majority of people in the church), but whats really fortunate about the people in my church is that they always open up their homes to the younger women to spend time with them and get to know them. They provide advice, encouragement, and correction when needed. I found mentorship through some of the various fellowships I am a part of and because I am garrulous.

I have been doing Bible study for around one and a half years now. Don’t plan on stopping any time soon! 🙂

Have you guys joined a Bible study lately? What are some of the things that you love about your bible study?

Love you guys,

Lise

Why I’m a HUGE Fan of Men’s Group

Despite what the title of this post suggests, I don’t actually attend Men’s group. Rome, however, has been a part of a bible study, Saturday morning meet-up, or bro-squad of some form since about a year before we were engaged. It is one of my favorite things that Rome goes out and does. He seeks it out with intentionality and is committed to attending.
What qualifies as a men’s group? For me, it’s a gathering of Christian men who come together to share, to learn, and to teach other men how to live according to God’s word with practicality. I made up this definition through observation because some of the men’s groups that Rome attends are not always bible studies in the conventional sense. Sometimes they are a bunch of guys sitting around a campfire, discussing what it means to be a black Christian man in America and about Lecrae’s latest album. Other times it is a group meeting at the church for the specific reason of learning to be a better husband, father, and leader of the home.
Some of the reasons I am pushing Rome out of the door when I know he is going to men’s group:
1. He needs to be surrounded by like-minded men. My husband needs godly men who are going to sit around with him and talk about how they love their wives, how they do their jobs to God’s glory, and how they are growing and learning. Through these groups, he has built fellowship and gained mentors. He never has to feel alone when he is struggling because he is surrounded by such a great cloud of man-witnesses that encourage and help him.
Hebrews 12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,

2. It provides a place where he can be completely honest with guys he trusts.
More about letting a few trustworthy people within your couple business in another post, but there is a rule within most of the men’s groups that Rome is a part of: don’t talk to anyone outside about what goes on in men’s group. Because of this rule, many of the men feel more comfortable sharing some of their shameful, difficult sins and struggles without fear of their business being in the streets.
The accountability that Rome gets from these relationships is unmatched because every time they meet, they check in with their struggles, fears, and problems. These brothers are holding each other up during the torrential rains of the various seasons of life.

Psalm 27:17- As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another
1 Thessalonians 5:11 Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.

3. Prayer. Have you watched men of God pray for something in faith? I have, it’s a phenomenal thing to behold. I think that God holds a special ear for the prayer of men for their wives, family, country, city, world, etc. I think beautiful things would happen if more men were absolutely committed to prayer within the body of Christ.
James 5:16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

These are just a few reasons why I am a big proponent of men’s group. I have seen a difference in the way that my husband leads our family, the way he works at his job, the way he treats me, and the way that we deal with problems as a direct result of men’s group.
For those of you who are saying: “Lise this is great and all, but my hubby/fiancé/boyfriend does not have this group of guys surrounding him that are serious about the Lord. I want him to have this. How can I help him?”
Glad you asked- as with everything, I am always going to encourage you to pray about this. Pray very specifically about what you want God to do in your husband’s life and in his relationships. Pray that he will have men around him that will help him to be sharpened and prepared to fight against temptation and every evil. Truly, this helps. Also, tell your husband that you are praying very specifically for this so that he can also have an eye out for guys that can be a part of his cohort of godly man-friends.
Some of you are saying, “Well my beau is so busy already, I don’t know if he will have time to add this in.” Don’t fret, there’s ample time within a day! He should try and find one hour a week (or every other week) where he can meet up with maybe ONE guy. It can be during lunch, right after work, before work, before working out, etc. There’s no standard for this, and he definitely can make it fit his life.

Love you guys!
Lise

Incorporating the Word into Everyday Life

I’m on a dark, muddy battlefield and I’m surrounded by soldiers in full, shining armor. They are fighting with swords and shields that gleam brightly despite the darkness. The enemy army we are facing is the strongest it has ever been. Pure evil drips from their shrouded shapes, its dark stain tainting the ground beneath us.

When I turn around, I am completely fenced in by the strange forms. They want to destroy me.  The battle around me seems to disappear as I focus on the creatures, preparing to strike. I can see them identifying my weaknesses, as if they knew them already.  Reaching behind me for my sword, I find air. Nothing is there. I look down at my clothing and it’s just that, clothing. I am not wearing any armor like the rest of the soldiers on my side. I am not prepared for this fight.

I watch as a smile slowly creeps across one of my opponent’s faces as he lunges for an attack…

This is how I imagine myself, as a warrior princess, fighting against spirits and principalities that come against me (Ephesians 6:12 KJV). When I am prepared, I have my armor on and the Sword of the Spirit is readily available for me to wield. When I am not, it’s like grasping at air when I most need a weapon.

I mentioned in another blog post that I have a routine that I like to do every morning to get my mind focused on God. One of the most important parts of this routine is reading his word! I can’t stress its importance enough!

Below are some extra things that I do to drive that word home and bring it with me on the wards, in my car, to my meetings, basically everywhere I go.

Notecards/Post It Notes I have been in love with notecards since high school. I don’t know what it is about them, possibly their portability? The fact that they come in different sizes? I don’t know, but I love writing bible verses on these to keep my mind focused on scripture. A very real example of a challenge that I face is my anxiety. I can worry about 365 things before 9 am if I let it run rampant.

However, God knew that anxious Analise would walk this earth and made sure that there were scriptures in his word for that, namely Proverbs 3:5 and Philippians 4:6. I simply write the entire verse and what I want to remind myself about the verse on the notecard and put it somewhere as a reminder. I am constantly finding these notecards everywhere in my life because there are no limits on where I can put these bad boys. When I had my white coats, I had at least 2 notecards in there about anxiety and about doing my best in everything for God’s glory (1 Corinthians 10:31). I would pull them out when I had downtime and read over them to encourage and uplift myself. I currently have them in my planner, in my purses, in my car, in Rome’s car, in his coats, etc. I’m exaggerating, but not by much.

Post It Notes- I like putting these on my mirror to remind myself that God sees me as beautiful and that I am wonderfully and fearfully made in his image (Psalm 139:14, Genesis 1:27). This prevents me from saying mean things to myself in the mirror. I know I’m not the only one who does that, so yeah. I might put one in my laundry room to remind myself that Jesus took serving others in love very seriously (Matthew 23:11, Philippians 2:5-7). When I want to grumble about laundry, I can instead think about Jesus and embrace his attitude.

 

Meditation– We have been hearing a lot about meditation and mindfulness in the media lately. The way I have adopted this probably a little bit different than what is being promoted.

I don’t sit and clear my mind of everything and focus on my breathing. I try to have extreme focus on something else, scripture.

If I have a verse that really spoke to me in my reading (or googling) that day, I write it on a notecard (shout out to #1) and then I sit, clear my mind, and think about the verse. I think about what it means, what wording is used in the verse, and what God intended to communicate. I also sit and think about how I can apply that verse to my life.

For verses about love or sin, I try and internalize and memorize the verse and think about what God is saying about his love for me or how I should flee from sin. I have found that from practicing this, the verses come to my mind more readily when I need them because Holy Spirit brings them to my remembrance (John 14:26). I love this and I try and do this as often as possible (Psalm 1:2).

Both this and #1 work together to reinforce scripture when memorizing it too.

 

Accountability– This is a tough one because it means allowing someone to be in my business. It means authorizing someone to be intimate with my struggles, my fears, and my joys. My husband is my primary accountability partner, but I have friends who play this role as well. I have a friend who checks on me to make sure that I am in my word daily and I have a lot of friends who are in my business.  They speak the word to me and genuinely make me want to grow in my relationship with Him. I prefer friends who are tough with me and aren’t going to feed me nice things because they are afraid of hurting my feelings. This is so beneficial because it allows me to be surrounded by a cloud of witnesses that can push me toward the goal (Hebrews 12:1-2).

This mutual accountability I have with my friends and my husband also allows me to have people that I can pray with and struggle with throughout the day. Since I do my prayer time in the morning, when most people aren’t even awake, my friends will text me or call me later on in the day and ask me what I read that morning. We then get a chance to talk about what we learned in our quiet times.

I’ll admit that it’s uncomfortable to let multiple people into my life, but it is so good for me to have this reminder of what I read/ learned about later on in the day. Every time I am about to let my discomfort get in the way of gaining accountability, I remember that God did not intend for us to walk this walk alone. Instead, He wanted us to be part of fellowship with other believers. It is in this community that maturation and progress occur.

 

These simple things have assisted me in making sure that I am not just leaving that time spent in the morning and forgetting about God for the rest of the day.

 

Let me know if any of these things help you guys out as you endeavor to incorporate his word in your life!

 

Love you guys!

Lise

 

 

Scriptural References (and notecard ammunition, if you will) 

Ephesians 6:10-17 NIV Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place,and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

 

1 Corinthians 10:31

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

 

Psalm 139:14

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

 

Genesis 1:27

So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.

 

Matthew 23:11

The greatest among you will be your servant.

 

Philippians 2:5-7

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.

 

Psalm 1:1-2

Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take, or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night. 

 

John 14:26

But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.

 

Hebrews 12:1

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,

Encouraging My Husband

 

Rome’s shoulders were slumped. He held his face in his hands as he berated himself about the mistake he just made. He couldn’t believe that he was so careless and let something like this happen. Rome, my guy, was devastated.

When I see him in these moods, my heart breaks for him. I want to fix it immediately so we can go back to being goofy and full of laughter. This is the part where I take off every other hat I have in my arsenal and put on the hat of his helper. It is one of the wife-roles that I love because it makes me feel like I am empowered specially by Holy Spirit to help my guy. This is one of the things God MADE me to do.

 

These are some of the things that I do as my husband’s help-meet, his girl, and his friend to encourage him.

I pray deep intercessory prayers for him.

I love going to the Lord about my man. God and I want the same thing for him (ie- I want whatever God wants for him). When I am praying about him, I feel like God is just saying, “You know, I was thinking the same thing, Lise!” Plus, I love seeing God answer my prayers that I don’t tell Rome about. God just drops things in my guy’s mind and he thinks he came up with it, but really, it is God’s way of saying to me that he heard me and he is speaking to Rome about what I am telling him about.

I remind him of scripture.

This comes easily to me because I remind myself of scripture ALL THE TIME when I need encouragement. The word is one of the greatest tools that a wife has in her belt to encourage her hubby. I love putting the specific verses on notecards and leaving them on his desk or his computer because it lets him know I was thinking about him and thinking of verses that might be helpful to him.

I show him that I am his cheerleader.

I am Rome’s number 1 fan! Seeing my husband being beat up by the world is another reason to remind him that in my eyes, he is chosen, loved by God, special, capable, etc. I have learned that he needs to hear it from me! Instead of dwelling on the bad and reminding him of the bad things all the time, I try to give him some compliments on things I know he is trying to work on.

Example: Honey, you have been doing an excellent job with protecting me and our home. I can’t tell you how much I love that. 😉

I make his day easier.

When Rome is under a lot of stress, I can see him getting overwhelmed by all of his responsibilities and commitments. He simply can’t be superman all the time. So, I help him out and bear the burdens with him.

A simple, “Honey, how can I help you with all the things you are doing?”  works wonders and makes him feel like he can manage things a little better.

 

 

These things are simple and sometimes take just a couple of minutes to do. I didn’t realize how much a kind and encouraging word meant until I started being intentional about encouraging him.

 

Verses for Reference

Genesis 2:18 The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

 

Love you guys!

Lise