Tag: Faith

How to Choose A Word of the Year

Posted on by Analise

Hey guys! We made it through and I cannot believe that 2023 would do us like this and be over in the blink of an eyelash. 

I know that I am not the only one who felt like it was literally JUST February 2023? 

It’s that time of year, so I have been thinking a lot about next year and planning and praying. This year, I am doing a much smaller version of the vision board that I won’t feel like I have to throw away when we move (see updates here)! This small version of the vision board is in my START planner. I love it because when I am trying to make plans, I can just refer back to my vision board in my planner to inspire me.

I’ll have to pull the planner things into another post in the future.

“Yes, yes, Lise, but what is the word???”

Continue reading “How to Choose A Word of the Year” →

Rest Day

Posted on by Analise

Of course, the cardiology fellow WOULD be talking about how she needs to get rest, right?

If you know me, though, you know that I have been trying to take a day for rest since I was in med school, when the temptation to work every day was overwhelming. I always felt behind and that I wouldn’t ever catch up if I didn’t take every single day and try and gulp some of the water down from the proverbial firehose that we call medical school.

One of these days in medical school (I think it was while I was studying for STEP 1 or 2), I realized that if I didn’t take this rest day, it felt like my brain would stop working.

Continue reading “Rest Day” →

Our

Posted on by Analise

During wedding ceremonies, there are symbolic rituals that people typically do. One of my favorite ones from our own wedding (8 years ago now, can’t believe it!) was the salt ceremony.  If you have been to weddings, you have seen a million different variations of the same thing- the couple buys tons sand and has them in separate containers for the ceremony and then pours them into one container. This represents two lives, two homes, two people becoming combined. Even more- it is a covenantal representation, saying that the union is broken only if you can separate the grains of sand again after it has been poured in together (to signify the impossibility). Some people use different colored sand and then put it somewhere in their home to remind them of their covenant and for decoration.

Ours were identical containers of salt that we poured into a larger container, thus rendering the two collections of salt indistinguishable from one another.

I described this well-known marital ritual to now bring up a controversial topic. When we get married, there is no longer mine, and yours and everything becomes ours.

We become one flesh.

We have one home ( I mean I assume most of us have one home, but y’all may be Beyoncé and Jay for all I know).

Everything we have is combined.

That includes money, possessions, shoot, even leftover food.

Too often, I find myself saying things like my car, your keys, my food. The real term is – and say it with me- ours.

Rome often reminds me of this because the implications can be dangerous if you let the mentality behind the words mine and yours casually continue.

In fact, Rome would advocate for making it so that you CAN’T say this is mine and that is yours, especially for the big stuff. We have joint accounts, making sure that both people’s names are on the cars, and on our mortgage, etc.

This is marriage, that you are no longer two but have become intertwined as one.

Mark 10:8

and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh.

Also, shout out to Rome and I! We celebrated 8 years of marriage last month!

Love,

Lise (and Rome)

The 4 AM Club

Posted on by Analise

Good morning everyone!

It’s Lise here, live from my house for the early, early morning show.

I have loved mornings for a long time, I’d say almost 7 years now. It all started when I was studying for STEP 2. I would wake up at a regular time in the morning and get started with studying – no distractions. But then by the time that afternoon hit, my energy would wane and it would always would be near impossible to get back to my studying groove. *Cue the chopped and screwed version of Lets Groove Tonight*

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Open Handed Plans

Posted on by Analise

I am an obsessive planner by nature. Paper planners are my medium, but I will tolerate a good digital planner that has lots of colors.  There’s just something about pens, blank pieces of paper, and the promise of endless possibilities that brings me so much joy. Also there’s something about a blank poster board, glue, tape, magazines, scissors, and writing down my moonshot dreams that I adore.  I love that vision board parties have become a thing because I have an excuse to do arts and crafts like I did in grade school with the added bonus of planning out my year like a madwoman.

I planned like this for my 2020. I wanted to do all sorts of things like do another marathon, write a book (clearly my moonshot dream), read 50 books, read through the bible, and go on a cruise.

Needless to say, 2020 happened and everything changed.

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30’s the new 30

Posted on by Analise

During this fine black history month, your girl turned 30.

I, too, can’t believe it. It’s as if the perpetually “young” one can’t be called young anymore, technically.

I suddenly get to giggle when people card me.

I have a husband, a child, a mortgage, taxes, a couple gray hairs, extra letters behind my name, etc, etc.

I can now say to my child a variety of black mom phrases, including, but not limited to, “Don’t you see grown folks talking?”

 

In some seriousness, I do want to take some time and reflect on how I have had to let go of what the 16 year old me imagined 30 year old me to be like. I have been having a lot of convos with my friends about this transition, so thank you guys for processing this with me. That 16 year old Lise had a lot of expectations and she was pretty hard to please.

If I could talk to that young lady, I would probably tell her a couple of things about her future life.

 

  1. Marriage is different than I thought it would be. I mean this in the best way. I didn’t realize that relationships require this amount of love, vulnerability, and  selflessness. I don’t think that 16 year old me could have fathomed that marriage meant that I would need to love in the same way I want to be loved. I definitely could not have imagined the wonderful person that I married. I could not have dreamt him up EVER.
  2. Motherhood is not just having a cute baby perched on my lap at all times. I never really thought it was that, but I could not have understood all of the things that my little girl needs from me. Kudos to those of you who had babies in their teen years! You get flowers, so many flowers.  Also, “Snapping back” is actually a societal expectation that will grab you by your neck and have you asking your body, “What’s wrong with you and why have you forsaken me?” After it grew a whole human for 9 months. Side note – thank you, body. You have done a wonderful thing.
  3. In my career, I didn’t expect to still be in training (seriously, it has been a LONG journey). I will admit, though,  I was just getting the inkling that I would want to pursue medicine as a career at 16. I was definitely not one of those people that knew they wanted to be a doctor from the age of 4.
  4. Friendships are a lot more complex than my poor 16 year old brain could handle. When you’re not in high school anymore and proximity friendships are ever changing (especially when you are moving all over the country constantly like I am), you realize that though you have love for all those people, people will weave in and out of your life during different times and that’s ok. You’ll learn from people you’ve met, make memories with them, and sometimes move on. Thank God for both types of friends- the long haul friendships as well as the transient ones.
  5. Faith is what ties it all together and makes me see beauty in all of the change that has happened since I was 16. I love what God is doing here with me and I’m encouraged that there is purpose and a plan here.

 

So, thank you everyone for the birthday wishes! I had so much chocolate cake and got lovely flowers and spent time with people I love.

 

Love,

30 year old Lise

About That Time I Became Sad

Posted on by Analise

Who didn’t want to share this one? Me. I didn’t want to talk about it.

This one may come as a surprise to some of you, but I thought it was important to share about my struggle with depression.

Continue reading “About That Time I Became Sad” →

Hypocrisy

Posted on by Analise

Hey guys, this has been on my heart and I wanted to tell you what has been going on with me.

One of the reasons that I feel like I haven’t been writing as much is that when I find something that I want to talk about- it sometimes ends up feeling hypocritical. I can’t write a post about how I like working out in the morning if I stopped working out in the morning because it just didn’t fit with my schedule anymore. Or, I feel like I can’t write a post about supporting your husband in his endeavors when I am currently not being a supportive wife.

I have bitten the apple of perfection and when I don’t measure up, it’s not worth sharing.

In other words, I felt like I failed you by writing as an imperfect person.

God is showing me that perfection has never been my story. It has never been my advantage in life.

It’s not even fair for me to expect perfection from myself. That is like saying that I am self-sufficient, when truly I am prone to and even eclipsed by flaws and vulnerabilities. I am not always going to be the best at everything and I surely am not going to get everything right on the first try. In fact, I am pretty bad at a lot of things and I am still trying to figure out most things.

I have learned that this is ok. It’s ok to have missed the boat on how to pose for pictures or do your makeup right every day or dress like an adult person. I have to have grace with myself and I don’t have to appear to be perfect for anyone. The Bible actually talks about God’s grace being sufficient for us when we are weak and imperfect.

2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

I hope that by being completely honest and grace-filled with myself, you can also take encouragement and be grace-filled with yourself. Admit your flaws, He knows them already. Remember why you have a need for a savior in the first place- imperfection.

I hope this serves as a kind of disclaimer for my future posts- ahem, I don’t do anything perfectly and we are all learning together.

Love you guys,

Lise

Why Make Time for Bible Study?

Posted on by Analise

When I was invited to be a part of a bible study here, my first thoughts were- “Wait, I am already so busy, how could I possibly fit this into my schedule?” I’m sure the “No” was already written on my keyboard with several words around it explaining that I was just, regrettably, too busy. Around this same time, my dear husband reminded me of one of the verses that I have stood on before and now I am trying to live by again (2019 goals, y’all).

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33 NIV

What this meant to me in college was that no matter what, the things of God came first.
This meant that I went to bible study, even when I didn’t feel like it. I went to church, even when I wasn’t particularly inspired to. I met with my sisters in Christ when I wanted to take a nap.
God really blessed that season in my life because of diligence and commitment.

So, back to the not so recent past, Rome was reminding me of this verse and our previous commitment to it.
I deleted the speech in my messages saying “No” and responded instead with a “Yes”. I haven’t looked back since.
I showed up not knowing anything about the type of bible study we were doing- an inductive bible study. I didn’t really know any of these women at my new church, and I questioned whether I really had time for a bible study which required me to do homework.
After the initial meeting, I realized that this kind of bible study is perfect for me.

It fit into my schedule because I usually am not working in the evening and when I am, it’s short lived and I can still keep up with the lessons. This Bible study allowed me to stay connected, though sometimes I am not able to attend regular Sunday morning worship service (I’ll tell more about this in another post). Finally, it kept me accountable with getting in the word every day. No one wants to be that girl/guy that didn’t do the lesson and is unprepared, so I did as much of it as I could and tried to show up and participate.

Why is bible study even important, Lise? Glad you asked.
1. Learning about the Word
This is the main reason for going to any Bible Study. There is so much more to learn about the word and there are infinite things about God that we need to know. The cool thing about it is that I get to spend my daily time in the word by doing the bible study. Then, I get to spend more time with the ladies in my Bible study and we get to talk about what we read during our week. I get different perspectives from them and I am always scribbling the insightful things that people say into my notebook.

2. Fellowship, fellowship, fellowship
Through this Bible study, I have gotten to know some of the ladies from my church really well. I definitely wouldn’t have these connections if I had chosen to stay at home and squander my precious time watching hallmark movies and HGTV.
Also, honestly, fellowship is a big deal- the Bible talks a lot about being surrounded by brothers and sisters in Christ and loving them (its much easier to love someone you interact with), and it also talks about how we should not neglect fellowship.
It’s a big deal.

…not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. Hebrews 10:25

3. Mentorship
I am in a relatively young church (young as in age of the church and the age of the majority of people in the church), but whats really fortunate about the people in my church is that they always open up their homes to the younger women to spend time with them and get to know them. They provide advice, encouragement, and correction when needed. I found mentorship through some of the various fellowships I am a part of and because I am garrulous.

I have been doing Bible study for around one and a half years now. Don’t plan on stopping any time soon! 🙂

Have you guys joined a Bible study lately? What are some of the things that you love about your bible study?

Love you guys,

Lise

Why I’m a HUGE Fan of Men’s Group

Posted on by Analise

Despite what the title of this post suggests, I don’t actually attend Men’s group. Rome, however, has been a part of a bible study, Saturday morning meet-up, or bro-squad of some form since about a year before we were engaged. It is one of my favorite things that Rome goes out and does. He seeks it out with intentionality and is committed to attending.
What qualifies as a men’s group? For me, it’s a gathering of Christian men who come together to share, to learn, and to teach other men how to live according to God’s word with practicality. I made up this definition through observation because some of the men’s groups that Rome attends are not always bible studies in the conventional sense. Sometimes they are a bunch of guys sitting around a campfire, discussing what it means to be a black Christian man in America and about Lecrae’s latest album. Other times it is a group meeting at the church for the specific reason of learning to be a better husband, father, and leader of the home.
Some of the reasons I am pushing Rome out of the door when I know he is going to men’s group:
1. He needs to be surrounded by like-minded men. My husband needs godly men who are going to sit around with him and talk about how they love their wives, how they do their jobs to God’s glory, and how they are growing and learning. Through these groups, he has built fellowship and gained mentors. He never has to feel alone when he is struggling because he is surrounded by such a great cloud of man-witnesses that encourage and help him.
Hebrews 12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,

2. It provides a place where he can be completely honest with guys he trusts.
More about letting a few trustworthy people within your couple business in another post, but there is a rule within most of the men’s groups that Rome is a part of: don’t talk to anyone outside about what goes on in men’s group. Because of this rule, many of the men feel more comfortable sharing some of their shameful, difficult sins and struggles without fear of their business being in the streets.
The accountability that Rome gets from these relationships is unmatched because every time they meet, they check in with their struggles, fears, and problems. These brothers are holding each other up during the torrential rains of the various seasons of life.

Psalm 27:17- As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another
1 Thessalonians 5:11 Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.

3. Prayer. Have you watched men of God pray for something in faith? I have, it’s a phenomenal thing to behold. I think that God holds a special ear for the prayer of men for their wives, family, country, city, world, etc. I think beautiful things would happen if more men were absolutely committed to prayer within the body of Christ.
James 5:16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

These are just a few reasons why I am a big proponent of men’s group. I have seen a difference in the way that my husband leads our family, the way he works at his job, the way he treats me, and the way that we deal with problems as a direct result of men’s group.
For those of you who are saying: “Lise this is great and all, but my hubby/fiancé/boyfriend does not have this group of guys surrounding him that are serious about the Lord. I want him to have this. How can I help him?”
Glad you asked- as with everything, I am always going to encourage you to pray about this. Pray very specifically about what you want God to do in your husband’s life and in his relationships. Pray that he will have men around him that will help him to be sharpened and prepared to fight against temptation and every evil. Truly, this helps. Also, tell your husband that you are praying very specifically for this so that he can also have an eye out for guys that can be a part of his cohort of godly man-friends.
Some of you are saying, “Well my beau is so busy already, I don’t know if he will have time to add this in.” Don’t fret, there’s ample time within a day! He should try and find one hour a week (or every other week) where he can meet up with maybe ONE guy. It can be during lunch, right after work, before work, before working out, etc. There’s no standard for this, and he definitely can make it fit his life.

Love you guys!
Lise