During wedding ceremonies, there are symbolic rituals that people typically do. One of my favorite ones from our own wedding (8 years ago now, can’t believe it!) was the salt ceremony.  If you have been to weddings, you have seen a million different variations of the same thing- the couple buys tons sand and has them in separate containers for the ceremony and then pours them into one container. This represents two lives, two homes, two people becoming combined. Even more- it is a covenantal representation, saying that the union is broken only if you can separate the grains of sand again after it has been poured in together (to signify the impossibility). Some people use different colored sand and then put it somewhere in their home to remind them of their covenant and for decoration.

Ours were identical containers of salt that we poured into a larger container, thus rendering the two collections of salt indistinguishable from one another.

I described this well-known marital ritual to now bring up a controversial topic. When we get married, there is no longer mine, and yours and everything becomes ours.

We become one flesh.

We have one home ( I mean I assume most of us have one home, but y’all may be Beyoncé and Jay for all I know).

Everything we have is combined.

That includes money, possessions, shoot, even leftover food.

Too often, I find myself saying things like my car, your keys, my food. The real term is – and say it with me- ours.

Rome often reminds me of this because the implications can be dangerous if you let the mentality behind the words mine and yours casually continue.

In fact, Rome would advocate for making it so that you CAN’T say this is mine and that is yours, especially for the big stuff. We have joint accounts, making sure that both people’s names are on the cars, and on our mortgage, etc.

This is marriage, that you are no longer two but have become intertwined as one.

Mark 10:8

and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh.

Also, shout out to Rome and I! We celebrated 8 years of marriage last month!

Love,

Lise (and Rome)