During this fine black history month, your girl turned 30.

I, too, can’t believe it. It’s as if the perpetually “young” one can’t be called young anymore, technically.

I suddenly get to giggle when people card me.

I have a husband, a child, a mortgage, taxes, a couple gray hairs, extra letters behind my name, etc, etc.

I can now say to my child a variety of black mom phrases, including, but not limited to, “Don’t you see grown folks talking?”

In some seriousness, I do want to take some time and reflect on how I have had to let go of what the 16 year old me imagined 30 year old me to be like. I have been having a lot of convos with my friends about this transition, so thank you guys for processing this with me. That 16 year old Lise had a lot of expectations and she was pretty hard to please.

If I could talk to that young lady, I would probably tell her a couple of things about her future life.

1. Marriage is different than I thought it would be. I mean this in the best way. I didn’t realize that relationships require this amount of love, vulnerability, and  selflessness. I don’t think that 16 year old me could have fathomed that marriage meant that I would need to love in the same way I want to be loved. I definitely could not have imagined the wonderful person that I married. I could not have dreamt him up EVER.
2. Motherhood is not just having a cute baby perched on my lap at all times. I never really thought it was that, but I could not have understood all of the things that my little girl needs from me. Kudos to those of you who had babies in their teen years! You get flowers, so many flowers.  Also, “Snapping back” is actually a societal expectation that will grab you by your neck and have you asking your body, “What’s wrong with you and why have you forsaken me?” After it grew a whole human for 9 months. Side note – thank you, body. You have done a wonderful thing.
3. In my career, I didn’t expect to still be in training (seriously, it has been a LONG journey). I will admit, though,  I was just getting the inkling that I would want to pursue medicine as a career at 16. I was definitely not one of those people that knew they wanted to be a doctor from the age of 4.
4. Friendships are a lot more complex than my poor 16 year old brain could handle. When you’re not in high school anymore and proximity friendships are ever changing (especially when you are moving all over the country constantly like I am), you realize that though you have love for all those people, people will weave in and out of your life during different times and that’s ok. You’ll learn from people you’ve met, make memories with them, and sometimes move on. Thank God for both types of friends- the long haul friendships as well as the transient ones.
5. Faith is what ties it all together and makes me see beauty in all of the change that has happened since I was 16. I love what God is doing here with me and I’m encouraged that there is purpose and a plan here.

So, thank you everyone for the birthday wishes! I had so much chocolate cake and got lovely flowers and spent time with people I love.

Love,

30 year old Lise