Why I’m a HUGE Fan of Men’s Group

Posted on by Analise

Despite what the title of this post suggests, I don’t actually attend Men’s group. Rome, however, has been a part of a bible study, Saturday morning meet-up, or bro-squad of some form since about a year before we were engaged. It is one of my favorite things that Rome goes out and does. He seeks it out with intentionality and is committed to attending.
What qualifies as a men’s group? For me, it’s a gathering of Christian men who come together to share, to learn, and to teach other men how to live according to God’s word with practicality. I made up this definition through observation because some of the men’s groups that Rome attends are not always bible studies in the conventional sense. Sometimes they are a bunch of guys sitting around a campfire, discussing what it means to be a black Christian man in America and about Lecrae’s latest album. Other times it is a group meeting at the church for the specific reason of learning to be a better husband, father, and leader of the home.
Some of the reasons I am pushing Rome out of the door when I know he is going to men’s group:
1. He needs to be surrounded by like-minded men. My husband needs godly men who are going to sit around with him and talk about how they love their wives, how they do their jobs to God’s glory, and how they are growing and learning. Through these groups, he has built fellowship and gained mentors. He never has to feel alone when he is struggling because he is surrounded by such a great cloud of man-witnesses that encourage and help him.
Hebrews 12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,

2. It provides a place where he can be completely honest with guys he trusts.
More about letting a few trustworthy people within your couple business in another post, but there is a rule within most of the men’s groups that Rome is a part of: don’t talk to anyone outside about what goes on in men’s group. Because of this rule, many of the men feel more comfortable sharing some of their shameful, difficult sins and struggles without fear of their business being in the streets.
The accountability that Rome gets from these relationships is unmatched because every time they meet, they check in with their struggles, fears, and problems. These brothers are holding each other up during the torrential rains of the various seasons of life.

Psalm 27:17- As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another
1 Thessalonians 5:11 Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.

3. Prayer. Have you watched men of God pray for something in faith? I have, it’s a phenomenal thing to behold. I think that God holds a special ear for the prayer of men for their wives, family, country, city, world, etc. I think beautiful things would happen if more men were absolutely committed to prayer within the body of Christ.
James 5:16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

These are just a few reasons why I am a big proponent of men’s group. I have seen a difference in the way that my husband leads our family, the way he works at his job, the way he treats me, and the way that we deal with problems as a direct result of men’s group.
For those of you who are saying: “Lise this is great and all, but my hubby/fiancé/boyfriend does not have this group of guys surrounding him that are serious about the Lord. I want him to have this. How can I help him?”
Glad you asked- as with everything, I am always going to encourage you to pray about this. Pray very specifically about what you want God to do in your husband’s life and in his relationships. Pray that he will have men around him that will help him to be sharpened and prepared to fight against temptation and every evil. Truly, this helps. Also, tell your husband that you are praying very specifically for this so that he can also have an eye out for guys that can be a part of his cohort of godly man-friends.
Some of you are saying, “Well my beau is so busy already, I don’t know if he will have time to add this in.” Don’t fret, there’s ample time within a day! He should try and find one hour a week (or every other week) where he can meet up with maybe ONE guy. It can be during lunch, right after work, before work, before working out, etc. There’s no standard for this, and he definitely can make it fit his life.

Love you guys!
Lise

Starting on Night Float

Posted on by Analise

I know that it has been quite literally 6 months since I “put some ink” on my blog, as one of my friends puts it. I have been so busy doing some major ADJUSTING to my new schedule and my life as not a med student but a newly minted doctor, New Jerseyan, and apparently adult. It has been so hard but so good and so rewarding and I will have to write about that in another post.

Anyway, I thought that I would write this post to discuss one of the rotations that I have completed already this year. I’ve actually done it twice by the time that I am writing and editing this post because I was one of the fortunate people to have a whole month of it in my intern year. I wanted to talk about this one both to provide some encouragement and so people can see what I did wrong and maybe make better decisions. Enjoy!

My intern year (first year of being a resident) began at night. I came into orientation that glorious morning and got my pager (an indestructible device resembling a small brick that rings when people want to contact you, for you generation Z people). Then I went home, took a nap, and showed up bright and early for my 7 pm shift.

Teams came in and began giving me the signouts for their patients. In other words, they gave me the pertinent information that would help me (or not) when I got paged for their patients. I took them all, attentively listening to the stories for all the patients because they were all so unfamiliar and interesting. At the end, I was drowning in lists of patients from all the medicine teams.

After all the teams left and it was just me and my two senior residents who were busy admitting new patients, reality and panic set in.

Me: Wait a minute, how do I log into the computer? Which team was I supposed to order a CT scan for again? *PAGE* Where is the bathroom? Where can I find this patient? *PAGE* How do I even order things? What blood pressure do I need to treat overnight?? *PAGE* Do I need to call the fellow on this patient? *PAGE* Am I hungry or just anxious? Are those fireworks outside? *PAGE* *PAGE* *PAGE*

My nights were crazy but I can honestly say that there were some things that I did to try and make logical decisions at 3 am.

 

Get organized early

At the beginning of each shift, before any of the teams came in, I would have a blank sheet that I would label “To Do” on one side and “Pages” on the next.

The to-do side would have labs that I needed to follow up on, the patient’s name, medical record number (MRN), and the patient’s team. This really helped me because I would just go through the whole list of things for follow up anytime I was at a computer and because all of the MRNs were there, I could run through them quickly.

The pages side of my sheet held the number that paged me, which patient it was for, and the problem that they were having along with what team they were on. This was so helpful because I could just call back the number without having to guess which one was for which patient. Also, it just helped me stay on top of my pages.

The learning point here is that you need a system. The first night I didn’t have a system in place yet. It was a mess. I’ll just leave it at that.

Go see the patient.

I first heard this when I was in medical school and it is something I have taken with me into residency. Frequently a patient will have abnormal vital signs or an abnormal symptom that requires evaluation. These patients, after I got a page I would put a red “I” with a circle around it to remind me to go see that patient. I had to go “lay eyes on them”, if you will. This gave me time to think about what I needed to possibly do for this patient and time to text my seniors if it was someone who was potentially decompensating. This leads me to…

Your seniors are here to help you!

No, they are here to admit patients. However, if you need help, don’t hesitate to ask them. There were some times that I really just didn’t know what to do from lack of experience (I was a medical student like yesterday!!), and other times, a patient’s symptoms were really concerning and I needed them to help me with the next steps to evaluate a patient overnight. Each time I needed their help, they were extremely gracious toward me because it was my first time being a real doctor and trying to make decisions.

 

Now, for the practical, non clinical stuff

 

Eat now, ask questions later

So night float was a funny beast, in that I wanted to eat at normal times at first, but couldn’t because my stomach was confused. I would get really hungry in the middle of the night when nothing was open, and when I would bring a large meal, my stomach was still confused because it isn’t used to eating oxtail, rice and peas, cabbage and a large drink at 3 am (I realize I am probably the only one with this problem). Anyway, I had to eat at some point. What I ended up doing that helped was eating small meals during my shift and a small meal when I woke up around 3 pm. I was able to eat in small portions much better than larger ones. I still ended up losing some weight on night float, but I wasn’t a hangry person during my shifts.

Stay connected

One of the hardest things about night float is the isolation. I think this was the one that I had the hardest time getting around. Honestly, I didn’t see Rome for almost a week when I was working for my last week. Plus, when you are awake and want to talk to all your family and friends, they don’t answer, because it is literally 3 am and apparently calling working people during that time isn’t polite. *rolls eyes*

Some things I did to combat this was facetimeing when I had my awake and not at work times. So when I first got into the house in the morning and Rome was at work, I would facetime him briefly and talk to him about my night and whatnot. I would call my mom when I woke up from my nap, and call my friends when I got to work, etc. I would work around my schedule, per usual. Telling everyone that I had a crazy schedule at the time helped so much too because people understood that I wasn’t ignoring them, I was just hibernating.

Don’t be unpleasant

It is easy to complain about how you’re tired, how you’re hungry, how the vending machine doesn’t have the special doritos that you like. If you do this, however, you’re forgetting that you have 2 other people who also are going through the same things that you are. Bringing up how uncomfortable you are won’t make you feel better, if anything it will make you even more upset. This is not the way to happiness and success, my friends.

Instead, try to be a light. Don’t be another grumbling, complaining person. It won’t help anyone.

Take a Walk

There is a blissful time between 3 and 5 am that the patients who were in pain in the beginning of the night have finally fallen asleep and no one is checking vitals in order to call you about hypertension. This is the time that I found myself in the basement of the hospital, walking laps. At first, the staff down there thought I was crazy, and eventually those same people were looking for the doctor in all purple to go down to the basement and walk a couple of laps.

It was a fabulous thing to do for my stress level and for my step counts. I did this every night that I had a free moment and I would always make a deal with myself and say that I would only stay down there until I got the next page (the blessed pager works in the basement). I would sometimes have 5 minutes before *BEEP BEEP BEEP* would sound and I think one time I had a full 30 mins. Either way, whether it’s 5 or 30, the effect was still the same.

 

I know I’ve been MIA, and thank you for showing me grace while I figure out my ever changing schedule. I’ll try to be posting once every two weeks or so as my schedule and my sanity allow.

 

Love you guys,

Lise

 

7 Things to Bring to New Resident Orientation

Posted on by Analise

This post is mostly for the current student doctors who will be residents next year (Or if you haven’t done orientation yet for this year). Congratulations in advance! This time is extremely busy with moving and all the random onboarding things that are required to start your first job as a doctor. Here are some things that helped me get through orientation without any snags.

  1. Planner/notebook/pens– Last week was full of important dates that were thrown at me along with emails that I needed to send to people for parking, IDs for other medical centers, etc. Using a planner helped me to remember that I was supposed to email John and what I was supposed to be telling him. I had a little to-do list within my planner so I would be able to knock out all my tasks and prioritize them by importance. The notebook is a hit or a miss- I used the papers that were in the folders already to jot down any notes I had. There were so many maps in my folders that I just flipped some over and scribbled on the back to organize my thoughts. However, having a notebook was beneficial for electronic medical record training to try and remember some of the cool shortcuts.
  2. Multiple forms of identification– To prove that you are cleared to work in the United States, schools/programs must fill out an I-9 verification form for each employee. They usually recommend bringing 2 forms of ID (social security card, passport, etc) so they can complete this form for you. I am type A and unfortunate events occur in my life, so last week I brought 3, just in case. Your school will send an email with the acceptable forms of identification, but don’t forget these because it will just be a headache to go back and grab them.
  3. Health information– At some point during the week, people are going to ask you if you have been vaccinated and if you have proven immunity to various illnesses. Bring your health information for quick reference for when they ask you. Even if you upload them or email them ahead of time, it is always a good idea to be safe when it comes to this stuff. Bring it with you so no one can say you didn’t send it in. It is so easy to lose someone’s information when it is swimming in a pool of information from ~500 other residents.
  4. Tote Bag/Backpack– So this one seems like a no-brainer, however, I tried to be cute and bring my smaller purse and was drowning in folders by the end of orientation. The folders couldn’t fit in my purse, so my arms were full for multiple hours of waiting in long lines. I had a feeling this was going to happen, but I ignored my intuition and went for the smaller purse. Don’t be me! Bring a larger bag or even a backpack to hold the folders and binders that your program will give you.

 

Extras:

  1. Breakfast– Rome and I have a motto that we stick to: never go to events hungry. This motto has saved us more than once from being miserable hungry people at long events. Orientation was no different. Your program may serve you breakfast, they may not. After doing the breakfast gamble one time and losing royally, I don’t suggest gambling. Be prepared for anything. Bonus points for bringing snacks. I know I sound like your West Indian grandmother, but I care about your well-being and your stomachs. It’s hard to focus on resident benefits when your stomach is growling, just saying.
  2. People’s names– This is my extroversion speaking, but seriously, it was fun to meet new people. While I was meeting my co-interns in clumps, I made a genuine effort to remember their names. The next time I started a conversation, it was much easier to jump right in because I already had their name down.
  3. Your photo ready face– We took SO MANY pictures during orientation. Every ID that we obtained needed its own picture. Don’t make the mistake I made in forgetting about the composite. This picture will be posted everywhere… EVERYWHERE! This composite is for other services to know who they are calling for consults/who is being exceptionally rude on the phone. This was the day, of course, that I didn’t wear makeup because I thought we were done with pictures. Nope. Surprise!!

 

Hope this non-exhaustive list helps you! The general idea is just that it’s better to be safe rather than sorry and that you shouldn’t make some of the mistakes I did.

 

 

Love you guys,

Lise

Incorporating the Word into Everyday Life

Posted on by Analise

I’m on a dark, muddy battlefield and I’m surrounded by soldiers in full, shining armor. They are fighting with swords and shields that gleam brightly despite the darkness. The enemy army we are facing is the strongest it has ever been. Pure evil drips from their shrouded shapes, its dark stain tainting the ground beneath us.

When I turn around, I am completely fenced in by the strange forms. They want to destroy me.  The battle around me seems to disappear as I focus on the creatures, preparing to strike. I can see them identifying my weaknesses, as if they knew them already.  Reaching behind me for my sword, I find air. Nothing is there. I look down at my clothing and it’s just that, clothing. I am not wearing any armor like the rest of the soldiers on my side. I am not prepared for this fight.

I watch as a smile slowly creeps across one of my opponent’s faces as he lunges for an attack…

This is how I imagine myself, as a warrior princess, fighting against spirits and principalities that come against me (Ephesians 6:12 KJV). When I am prepared, I have my armor on and the Sword of the Spirit is readily available for me to wield. When I am not, it’s like grasping at air when I most need a weapon.

I mentioned in another blog post that I have a routine that I like to do every morning to get my mind focused on God. One of the most important parts of this routine is reading his word! I can’t stress its importance enough!

Below are some extra things that I do to drive that word home and bring it with me on the wards, in my car, to my meetings, basically everywhere I go.

Notecards/Post It Notes I have been in love with notecards since high school. I don’t know what it is about them, possibly their portability? The fact that they come in different sizes? I don’t know, but I love writing bible verses on these to keep my mind focused on scripture. A very real example of a challenge that I face is my anxiety. I can worry about 365 things before 9 am if I let it run rampant.

However, God knew that anxious Analise would walk this earth and made sure that there were scriptures in his word for that, namely Proverbs 3:5 and Philippians 4:6. I simply write the entire verse and what I want to remind myself about the verse on the notecard and put it somewhere as a reminder. I am constantly finding these notecards everywhere in my life because there are no limits on where I can put these bad boys. When I had my white coats, I had at least 2 notecards in there about anxiety and about doing my best in everything for God’s glory (1 Corinthians 10:31). I would pull them out when I had downtime and read over them to encourage and uplift myself. I currently have them in my planner, in my purses, in my car, in Rome’s car, in his coats, etc. I’m exaggerating, but not by much.

Post It Notes- I like putting these on my mirror to remind myself that God sees me as beautiful and that I am wonderfully and fearfully made in his image (Psalm 139:14, Genesis 1:27). This prevents me from saying mean things to myself in the mirror. I know I’m not the only one who does that, so yeah. I might put one in my laundry room to remind myself that Jesus took serving others in love very seriously (Matthew 23:11, Philippians 2:5-7). When I want to grumble about laundry, I can instead think about Jesus and embrace his attitude.

 

Meditation– We have been hearing a lot about meditation and mindfulness in the media lately. The way I have adopted this probably a little bit different than what is being promoted.

I don’t sit and clear my mind of everything and focus on my breathing. I try to have extreme focus on something else, scripture.

If I have a verse that really spoke to me in my reading (or googling) that day, I write it on a notecard (shout out to #1) and then I sit, clear my mind, and think about the verse. I think about what it means, what wording is used in the verse, and what God intended to communicate. I also sit and think about how I can apply that verse to my life.

For verses about love or sin, I try and internalize and memorize the verse and think about what God is saying about his love for me or how I should flee from sin. I have found that from practicing this, the verses come to my mind more readily when I need them because Holy Spirit brings them to my remembrance (John 14:26). I love this and I try and do this as often as possible (Psalm 1:2).

Both this and #1 work together to reinforce scripture when memorizing it too.

 

Accountability– This is a tough one because it means allowing someone to be in my business. It means authorizing someone to be intimate with my struggles, my fears, and my joys. My husband is my primary accountability partner, but I have friends who play this role as well. I have a friend who checks on me to make sure that I am in my word daily and I have a lot of friends who are in my business.  They speak the word to me and genuinely make me want to grow in my relationship with Him. I prefer friends who are tough with me and aren’t going to feed me nice things because they are afraid of hurting my feelings. This is so beneficial because it allows me to be surrounded by a cloud of witnesses that can push me toward the goal (Hebrews 12:1-2).

This mutual accountability I have with my friends and my husband also allows me to have people that I can pray with and struggle with throughout the day. Since I do my prayer time in the morning, when most people aren’t even awake, my friends will text me or call me later on in the day and ask me what I read that morning. We then get a chance to talk about what we learned in our quiet times.

I’ll admit that it’s uncomfortable to let multiple people into my life, but it is so good for me to have this reminder of what I read/ learned about later on in the day. Every time I am about to let my discomfort get in the way of gaining accountability, I remember that God did not intend for us to walk this walk alone. Instead, He wanted us to be part of fellowship with other believers. It is in this community that maturation and progress occur.

 

These simple things have assisted me in making sure that I am not just leaving that time spent in the morning and forgetting about God for the rest of the day.

 

Let me know if any of these things help you guys out as you endeavor to incorporate his word in your life!

 

Love you guys!

Lise

 

 

Scriptural References (and notecard ammunition, if you will) 

Ephesians 6:10-17 NIV Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place,and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

 

1 Corinthians 10:31

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

 

Psalm 139:14

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

 

Genesis 1:27

So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.

 

Matthew 23:11

The greatest among you will be your servant.

 

Philippians 2:5-7

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.

 

Psalm 1:1-2

Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take, or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night. 

 

John 14:26

But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.

 

Hebrews 12:1

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,

Graduation and Traveling

Posted on by Analise

As I reflect on my medical school matriculation, it is tempting to consider myself and say, “good job, Lise. You did that. You are now a doctor because of your hard work and intelligence.”

However, I know that thinking this would be a disservice to God who I felt gave me the idea to attend medical school, to become a physician. He is the one who sustained me throughout my time in school. He is the one who is responsible for the wonderful friends I have made and the mentors that I was blessed to find. He helped me pass my exams and he is the one who helped me match. He is teaching me, a baby healer, how to be like Him, the Great Healer. I am nothing without Him.

Keeping this truth in mind, I feel incredibly grateful for the opportunity that medical school was. It was a beautiful journey of stretching my limitations and shifting my viewpoints. I learned much about medicine and the nature of humans. I have also internalized the fact that I have much more to learn.

Thank you to every single person who encouraged me and prayed for me. Thank you to my husband, who made sure that I remembered what was most important. Thank you to my mother, my original inspiration to become a physician and my very first mentor. Thank you to the rest of my family who kept tabs on how I was doing and feeling through it all. Thank you to my friends, who reminded me that there are also exciting things that happen outside of the hospital.

 

In other news, I spent most the two weeks before graduation on opposite sides of the country. I was in both Panama City Beach and in the Bay Area of California. I spent a grand total of half a day in JXN in those two weeks and I love it because traveling. Yes.

 

Panama City Beach

First, we went to Panama City Beach with some of our friends (basically crashing their vacation) and below are some of the activities I enjoyed the most. We had been here before on our honeymoon and it was really cool to see it during its active season. Restaurants and attractions are mostly closed during the winter and open up right before spring break.

 

Saltwater Grill

Even now, I can’t stop thinking about this restaurant! EVERYONE at the table finished their food and it was all so delicious. The service was amazing and although our waiter was relatively new, he was extremely knowledgeable and attentive.

I had the Shrimp and Scallop Penne a la Vodka, which was a manageable portion, especially for someone like me who has trouble with the incredibly large portions that restaurants expect you to finish. After I devoured my food, I realized I would have eaten the entire large portion because it was just that good.

I have plans to bring one of my uncles to this restaurant one day because I know he will just adore the food and the service here.

Sunset Cruise

This cruise was low stress and came with a complimentary drink. We lounged on the deck and watched dolphins play around in the water, all while listening to “island music”.

The sun setting over the ocean from this perspective was breathtaking and well worth the money we spent to check it out.

First Watch

THIS RIGHT HERE. This place has become one of my favorite breakfast spots. Rome and I got a chance to check this place out for breakfast while he was in Omaha, and when Rome likes a restaurant, we  go back multiple times. My favorite thing here is their freshly squeezed orange juice. I am not normally an orange juice fan, preferring apple as my juice of choice. However, I can’t exaggerate when I talk about how delicious and fresh this orange juice is. I have never tasted anything like it and I am going to be at every First Watch I can find, ordering this orange juice in a large and finishing off Rome’s if he isn’t quick enough. My mouth is watering just thinking about how delectable it is.  Their food also is very fresh, offering a variety of organic options for those who are interested.

 

 

San Francisco/ Mountainview/Bay Area

Just so you know and so that you don’t make the same mistakes as I did, I was THAT tourist. You know, that tourist who is from Mississippi and assumes that it is blazing hot summer everywhere. Even better, the one who doesn’t check the weather of wherever we are traveling to. More like, the one who checks the weather then completely ignores it because surely, it can’t really be that cold.

Yeah, I did that. San Francisco is cold, y’all. Anyway, on to the touristy stuff we did.

 

Ghirardelli Square

We checked this one out first. It is a former chocolate factory that was made into a shopping center filled with mostly confectionary items. There are restaurants and bakeries and various shops that will make you want to dash your diet to pieces.  You can smell the chocolate from a mile away. Your nose will lead you to tasty treats here. You also get your first view of the wharf from this square because San Fran is on a hill and has many hills within its hills. There’s no escaping the hills.

This is a view of Coit Memorial Tower from one of the streets.

Fisherman’s Wharf

This is totally a tourist area. We walked up and down the wharf a couple of times, which is mostly a street filled with seafood restaurants that may or may not have some good things to offer. Chowder in breadbowls was one of my most commonly seen menu items. There are also a couple of tourist stores in this area if you’re looking for an I <3 San Francisco shirt. There are literally tons of people just milling about down here going to all the restaurants. We had some really fresh seafood off of one of the street vendors down here and then later on we came back to check out In and Out Burger because you can’t go to California without going to In and Out.

From the wharf, you can get a great view of Alcatraz island, which hosts the now-closed famous prison surrounded by water.

 

Union Square

This area contains a beautiful monument (The Dewey Memorial)  in the center of a large shopping area. There is a mall a couple of blocks down from the monument and there are stores completely surrounding the place.

We went to Daily Grill close to the square for lunch and did a lot of window shopping and walking around in this area (I got my 20,000 steps this day). Rome has a story he likes to tell about the water I ordered at Daily Grill that was the most delicious water ever and costed 9 bucks. Lise Lise has accidental expensive taste.

San Francisco Zoo

Rome makes a point to go to zoos in almost every place we visit, if they have one. He likes to compare them to the D.C. zoo, which he grew up frequenting with his family. No zoo ever compares to the D.C. zoo for him, but he still gives other zoos a chance.

The San Francisco Zoo boasts graceful giraffes, zebras, lions, tigers, grizzly bears, African birds, an insect area, monkeys and chimpanzees. I think my favorite thing about this zoo was the Rainforest area. It is likely my favorite because we couldn’t find it and had to go on a scavenger hunt to find this area. When we got there, it was a pleasant 80 degrees inside the building (a respite from the windy, freezing zoo). The birds in this area are unrestrained for the most part and are close enough to touch. If I had any artistic ability whatsoever, I would have taken the time to sketch them and then I would have painted the vivid plumes adorning the birds I saw in this rainforest.

 

 

 

My most recent traveling adventure is not traveling at all but moving. I have officially moved to NJ and am trying my best to adult. I don’t know how my college classmates have been doing this for 4 years while I was still in school. I’m trying to be like you guys 😉

 

Talk to you soon!

Lise

 

 

 

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Premarital Counseling

Posted on by Analise

“And they lived happily ever after…”

“In a relationship, things must be 50/50.”

“Make sure that you have different checking accounts because most of your arguments come from who is paying the bills.”

“Oh, but the honeymoon phase is over after a year, then you get sick of them.”

When people found out that I was engaged/married, they wanted to give me all the advice in the world. Random people I didn’t know tried to give me so much “good” advice. This, combined with commonly believed American myths, like the first one that I listed caused fairy princesses, like myself, to feel like we should have certain… expectations for our marriage. Namely, I felt like my prince charming should sweep me off into some mythical sunset after my wedding and then… I don’t know, I just wanted the proverbial sunset and the pretty white horse, okay?

When I showed up to my first premarital session, I brought these fairytale fantasies with me. I practically floated into the room with woodland creatures and my shiny new fiancé because we were perfectly meant for each other. We were so in love that this was really just a formality, anyway. We were really just doing this because it was something that our mentors recommended and we hold them in high regard.

Things in my mind before counseling included all of the following ridiculous statements. Couples that are healthy don’t have fights, naturally, because that means that your marriage is failing. Couples that are compatible when they get married stay that way because they just effortlessly “fit” together.  I already knew that there is a “completion” that happens when you get married to your soulmate and you just finish each other’s sentences. You don’t have to think to understand each other because you just “get” it. Everything would just click into place on my wedding day because that clearly happens.

No. No. A million times no. The first 10 minutes of premarital counseling taught me that my beau and I had unrealistic expectations. We had bought into the lies that media and rom-coms taught us. My ideas were not consistent with a healthy and real marriage of the two sinful, broken, selfish people also known as Lise and Rome.

 

What is premarital counseling anyway?

Premarital counseling is a series of sessions with a married couple that can be conducted individually or even in a group setting. It allows a couple to evaluate their relationship honestly and openly. Its purpose is to prepare couples for marriage, utilizing the wisdom from a couple who has been there. Sometimes they go through a lesson guided by a book or they cover topics that are important for couples to talk about, like finances and baggage.

In my case, we were blessed to have mentors who have been married for 30+ years. One of them is a licensed marriage and family therapist and leads premarital and couple’s counseling amongst other things for a living (#blessed). We used the premarital book that she and her husband wrote together and we keep a copy of it because we refer to it all the time (I will have the link to it at the bottom of the page). We completed the semester-long course with another couple that we keep around because they know too many of our secrets. I’m only slightly joking about that one.

 

My boo and I are not having problems, why rock the boat?

Marriage is a different ball game. My hubby’s mentor likes to put it this way: You go to school for YEARS and you get trained for different jobs/ careers, especially if the task or job is particularly hard or requires some experience. Marriage is incredibly hard, why wouldn’t you want to learn as much about it as possible before jumping into it? Why would you think that this is any different than something important that you need to get trained for? Because Disney princesses, that’s why.

In other words, you will want to be prepared WHEN things come up, because they will. These things that come up can be a tool for strengthening your marriage and understanding your spouse better or they can be a source of constant conflict and a sore spot of hurt and pain.

 

It costs money! I don’t have money!

Indeed it does. It was an investment I was willing to make for my marriage because I wanted our relationship to be as strong as possible. Plus, I was willing to invest in my wedding, why not invest in my marriage? The wedding day doesn’t happen every day, in fact, it is only day 1 of a lifetime of being with this person and in this relationship. I wanted to invest in the other days so they could be just as beautiful as the first.

 

“Make sure that you have serious premarital counseling!” is the primary advice that I give couples that ask me questions who are newly engaged or even considering marriage. It helps so much with managing those unrealistic expectations, evaluating weaknesses in communication, teaching how to deal with conflict, and identifying baggage.

We refer to the concepts we learned in premarital counseling frequently because it helps us when we fight (Yes, Rome and I fight and it is good for us). I appreciated those candid talks so much and I know that Rome did too because these are some of the things he said about it.

“Premarital counseling allowed us to make an informed decision based on things we learned about each other and marriage. You got to see the ugliness of marriage beforehand to decide if you wanted to go through with it or not. It asks the questions you were too in love to ask and allows you to decide what things about your future spouse you can and can’t handle. It also gave us access to teachers who wanted to help us. It was the best thing we have done for our marriage.”

If you are reading this and saying that it’s too late for you because you are already married, never fear, there’s always hope if you are having problems or if you just want to do something that can ONLY strengthen your marriage. Marriage and family therapists do this for a living, even if you aren’t having any problems. I think it is so much better to be proactive and identify possible problems before they become very real problems. Therapists can be found everywhere and a simple google search for licensed marriage and family therapists should be a good start.

There are also retreats that you can attend, like Weekend to Remember, that provide the same therapy for married couples.

 

 

Love you guys! Enjoy your marriages!

Lise

 

 

Here is the link to the book that we used:

https://www.amazon.com/Preparing-Marriage-Dating-Death-Part/dp/0692378626/ref=sr_1_36?ie=UTF8&qid=1495205885&sr=8-36&keywords=preparing+for+marriage

4 Things I Wish I Had Done Before Starting Medical School

Posted on by Analise

Before I got to college, I knew that I wanted to become a doctor. I just wasn’t aware of all the time and effort it would take to complete this journey to MD.

Disclaimer about this post: I am going to forever keep it real with you guys. I am not afraid to share my failures in hopes that someone else can learn from them. I can’t pretend to be perfect.

I went to college with a goal in mind, but I didn’t attack my classes and my life in general as a future physician would. I pretended as if I didn’t already know my weaknesses (Hey Math, I’m looking at you). Flailing around and hoping for the best was my mode of operation because I was brilliant, right? Answer: no, Lise is not brilliant, and even if she was, I don’t know that it would have helped her.

 

Some things I wish I had done:

  1. Hit the ground running with my classes.

I was taking some of the hardest classes on campus, yet I thought I would be able to keep up with the same apathetic high school class work effort. I went to all my classes, but I didn’t go to them prepared. I wasn’t focused and I essentially went as if I was going to watch a rom-com. I did this every day for an entire semester! You would think I would have learned sometime in the middle that I needed to get my life, and quickly, but no.

I didn’t keep in mind that I was LEARNING a lot of this stuff for the first time. In high school, I was just memorizing facts that I knew would be on an exam. It came easily to me then, so I thought it would come easily to me this time around.

This was a completely different ball game. “You mean anything is fair game? Even if we didn’t talk about it in class? So you don’t have to use the questions that you gave us on the study guide? There is a book associated with this class?”, were all questions that went through my head as I drowned in my first semester. I learned later that all this information I was avoiding learning would be resurrected when I was studying for the MCAT.

Why is this even important, Analise? Because when these topics showed up again on the MCAT, I wasn’t prepared. As much as I hate to admit it, I should have been taking notes and learning like I wanted to be able to REVIEW (instead of truly learn it the first time) it to prepare for this exam.

 

  1. Focused MCAT prep.

I had MCAT prep classes, I did the studying. However, if I had studied for the MCAT as I have studied for STEP 1 and STEP 2, it would have made a huge difference in my score (Hindsight is always 20/20 right?). This just means that when I studied for the MCAT, that was supposed to be my job. I was supposed to set a schedule and have a plan, but that is not how it went. I was haphazardly studying here and there, getting distracted then coming back to it, and wasting time and then wondering where it went… and then I took the test. That is not how I succeed in life, I’ve learned.

I could have taken the time to delve deep into my studying and given myself the freedom to put everything else on hold for that short time. 

 

  1. Learned more about how I study best.

I knew that there was no way to simulate the situation that is medical school. I was told this many times before I started school, and now that I have almost finished school (Yay, 2 weeks away!), I completely agree. There is no reason to try and simulate it, nor do I think any simulation will be accurate.

However, I do think that having a plan when beginning matriculation is invaluable to success. This is especially important in the beginning when we learned so much, so fast. I simply didn’t have time to sit and think about how I was going to study. My study style changed when I went through the different classes and years, but the tried and true methods were good places to start.

The way that I studied for the MCAT was an excellent way to start off with studying.

 

  1. Organized my life.

I wish that I had taken organization seriously! After my first year in college, I realized that my same methods that I employed in high school would still work, I just needed to make fit my schedule more. I started doing them and didn’t look back. If I had employed these methods in my first year, I would have been less dazed and confused and more prepared.

 

Love you guys and hope this helps!

Lise

 

 

 

We Don’t Talk Anymore (Cause You’re in Med School)

Posted on by Analise

“You are always so busy!”

“How do you even have time to be here right now?”

“I feel like you are about to rush off somewhere to doctor on someone!”

These are just a few of the many quotes I got during my stint in medical school. Yes, medical students are extremely busy. We are always studying, learning how to be a doctor, or asleep.

The things that my friends, husband, or family members did to encourage me made me feel like a human again after all the studying. These are some of the things I loved.

Encouraging texts/calls. Even though I didn’t respond within normal-person timeframes, seeing these and knowing that my friends were thinking about me energized me to complete my next task. There are a number of rough days that I had that were made bearable by the kind and encouraging texts that I got from my friends (I guess this has to do with my Words of Affirmation love language). The texts contained scripture, encouraging words, or simple messages of love and changed the tone of my entire day.

Understanding if “something comes up”– I frequently tried to estimate when I would be leaving the hospital and was quickly reminded of why I was not a math major. I was COMPLETELY WRONG. I said things like, “Oh at 5 pm we can go grab coffee,” and then I wouldn’t leave the hospital till 9 pm because “something came up”. Real things would come up, too! If a patient was dying, I couldn’t just say, “Oh you guys got this? I have a coffee date with someone, see you tomorrow!”

This one really bothered me because I valued the time that I got to spend with my friends/family and it was sad when I had to cancel plans with them. Because of the wonderful friends I have, they were understanding and we would just take a raincheck.

Coming with me to random medical school functions that have nothing to do with you. I wanted to take part in everything that my medical school had to offer, so I had to attend at least SOME of the parties for students. My husband was a champion for this one. He was at EVERYTHING. He loved being there and was always engaged. This meant the world to me and was another way for us to spend quality time together.

Make adjustments to align our schedules. Once my friends got the hang of what the medical students were doing and when, we worked our schedules accordingly to fit each other in. For instance, on some rotations, lunch is from 12-1. Rome would sometimes come and pick me up from the hospital as soon as I was released for lunch and we would go somewhere and spend time with each other and eat. Another time, during my preclinical years, a friend of mine came up to the hospital and we grabbed some food in the hospital. We adjusted our schedules so we could meet up and spend some time catching up with each other.

 

Honestly, if you are taking the time to read this post and think through how best you can support and be there for your friend/significant other during a time that is arguably the hardest in their life, you are already a step in the right direction. Anything you do from here will be greatly appreciated by them, even if they don’t verbalize it.
Love you guys!

Lise

 

 

Encouraging My Husband

Posted on by Analise

 

Rome’s shoulders were slumped. He held his face in his hands as he berated himself about the mistake he just made. He couldn’t believe that he was so careless and let something like this happen. Rome, my guy, was devastated.

When I see him in these moods, my heart breaks for him. I want to fix it immediately so we can go back to being goofy and full of laughter. This is the part where I take off every other hat I have in my arsenal and put on the hat of his helper. It is one of the wife-roles that I love because it makes me feel like I am empowered specially by Holy Spirit to help my guy. This is one of the things God MADE me to do.

 

These are some of the things that I do as my husband’s help-meet, his girl, and his friend to encourage him.

I pray deep intercessory prayers for him.

I love going to the Lord about my man. God and I want the same thing for him (ie- I want whatever God wants for him). When I am praying about him, I feel like God is just saying, “You know, I was thinking the same thing, Lise!” Plus, I love seeing God answer my prayers that I don’t tell Rome about. God just drops things in my guy’s mind and he thinks he came up with it, but really, it is God’s way of saying to me that he heard me and he is speaking to Rome about what I am telling him about.

I remind him of scripture.

This comes easily to me because I remind myself of scripture ALL THE TIME when I need encouragement. The word is one of the greatest tools that a wife has in her belt to encourage her hubby. I love putting the specific verses on notecards and leaving them on his desk or his computer because it lets him know I was thinking about him and thinking of verses that might be helpful to him.

I show him that I am his cheerleader.

I am Rome’s number 1 fan! Seeing my husband being beat up by the world is another reason to remind him that in my eyes, he is chosen, loved by God, special, capable, etc. I have learned that he needs to hear it from me! Instead of dwelling on the bad and reminding him of the bad things all the time, I try to give him some compliments on things I know he is trying to work on.

Example: Honey, you have been doing an excellent job with protecting me and our home. I can’t tell you how much I love that. 😉

I make his day easier.

When Rome is under a lot of stress, I can see him getting overwhelmed by all of his responsibilities and commitments. He simply can’t be superman all the time. So, I help him out and bear the burdens with him.

A simple, “Honey, how can I help you with all the things you are doing?”  works wonders and makes him feel like he can manage things a little better.

 

 

These things are simple and sometimes take just a couple of minutes to do. I didn’t realize how much a kind and encouraging word meant until I started being intentional about encouraging him.

 

Verses for Reference

Genesis 2:18 The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

 

Love you guys!

Lise

Writing in My Bible

Posted on by Analise

 

I am a book destroyer- no, really. I love feeling like my non-fiction and my books for school have been used up and that all their knowledge has been imparted to me in some way. I am the same way, if not more so, with the Bible.

I began scribbling in my bible when I started participating in Good Morning Girls on WomenLivingWell.org. This program was just what I was looking for at the time because I wanted to make a habit of reading my word every single day. Daily quiet time is what worked best for me and it really set up my day to focus on God for the rest of the day. More about how I do my quiet time can be found here.

 

This is how I write in my Bible.

 

The first thing I needed was a Bible that I use specifically for this purpose. I got mine for free for attending Chapel service at Howard University for the first time. I didn’t realize what a valuable resource I had until I decided that it was perfectly OK for me to write in my books- including my bible. I now use it every day for my personal quiet time along with my life application bible. Mine allows me to read the Word as it flows naturally without commentary. When I need some help understanding a concept I will refer to my life application bible. I write in the margins, in between the sections, beside verses, anywhere really. I love doing this and highlighting as you will see below. The NIV is my bible version of choice at the moment and both of my bibles are in this translation.

The second thing that I needed were these fabulous pens that showed how serious I was about my doodle game. Jk, I don’t doodle because I have no artistic ability whatsoever. I bought these pens initially for studying for STEP 1, so I could write in the margins of First Aid. When it was over, I wanted to continue using them because they became my favorite pens ever.

There is no specific system for how I underline or write beside verses because it just works better for me to write on the fly. There are no spatial restrictions because my mind doesn’t work like that and because my pens are so fine tip that I can scribble everywhere on the page with masterful precision. I use a different color every day for variation and because I love having a colorful bible. I underline and write what each passage made me think, what God is convicting me about through His Word, or what application point I realize through reading. When I refer to my life application bible, I go back my highlighter friendly bible and write in the margins what I learned. I love these pens like I love empty notebooks and Krispy Kreme doughnuts.

 

Lastly, I use highlighters to accompany my writing pens. My highlighting, like my underlining and writing, has no specific system. Whatever speaks to me or a verse I want to emphasize is immediately highlighted and I write what I am thinking out to the side. My favorite verses and the verses that I read in Jesus Calling are all highlighted. Every day is a different highlighter’s time to shine because it helps me to see what/how much I read on the previous day, plus it makes my bible look beautiful.

 

Do I do this all the time? Well, yeah if I have time to do my quiet time as I do it normally. I love doing this because it really keeps my mind focused and allows me to see what I was thinking about a passage days, even years, later. When a preacher refers to a passage that I have already gone through, I can see what I was thinking about the passage in my previous reading and then add to it from his sermon, if I want to.

 

How do you interact with your bible when you read and what are some tools you use?