I am an obsessive planner by nature. Paper planners are my medium, but I will tolerate a good digital planner that has lots of colors.  There’s just something about pens, blank pieces of paper, and the promise of endless possibilities that brings me so much joy. Also there’s something about a blank poster board, glue, tape, magazines, scissors, and writing down my moonshot dreams that I adore.  I love that vision board parties have become a thing because I have an excuse to do arts and crafts like I did in grade school with the added bonus of planning out my year like a madwoman.

I planned like this for my 2020. I wanted to do all sorts of things like do another marathon, write a book (clearly my moonshot dream), read 50 books, read through the bible, and go on a cruise.

Needless to say, 2020 happened and everything changed.

I love how “but then 2020 happened” or “but then quarantine” are legitimate excuses for what happened to us collectively during 2020. Everyone’s plans were put on hold for an unknown amount of time. We kept hoping that things would be better by summer, then by fall, then by the next summer and now, as I’m editing this post, we are dealing with the effects of the delta variant, which has set us back even further.

Additionally, the emotional toll of caring for the people who were extremely sick during a pandemic affected me deeply. The medical community was humbled by our lack of knowledge about this illness that was killing people left and right. It felt silly for me to consider having a plan to do something amazing when every day, I would go to work, and people young and old were dying, their plans dying with them.

In 2020, I learned a valuable lesson about planning. This is after an extensive amount of heart work that the Lord did with me during the year.

What happens when the plans that you prayed about don’t happen?

How do you cope when you don’t get the job, the breakup happens instead of the proposal, the rejection comes, or the world deals with a pandemic?

Is God no longer there? Is he no longer good and for us? Does he know what is going on here? WE (by we, I mean the world) had so many plans for this year.

In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps. Psalm 16:9

This verse, I think explains how deeply rooted some of my plans were in my heart. I wanted them, I needed them to work for me to feel fulfilled and like I had achieved something.

They didn’t happen.

I didn’t run the marathon.

I didn’t go on the cruise and get to dance with my grandma.

I didn’t write the book (I think that I should get more than one year for this moonshot here).

My plans, just like my entire life, are ultimately in submission to the Lord. He has the 20,000 foot view of my life and I can’t see what happens next at all.

When my plans supersede God’s plans in my mind, I have created an idol. God, in his great love for us, sometimes also topples those so we remember him. He is infinitely better than the gods we create for ourselves. I am learning to trust him and know that though I don’t see it this moment, that whatever he planned for me is GOOD. It fits along with his overall plan for my life and for the life of his people.

It may seem good for me to go on a cruise, or write a book or run a marathon, but if God says “Not right now, Lise.” I have to trust him and trust that he knows better than I do.

I called this post “open handed plans” because that is how I am planning the next several months. Yes. I am still planning, but my grip has loosened and my heart is only set on God’s timing and his will. He knows best.

Happy planning.

Love you guys,

Lise