Despite what the title of this post suggests, I don’t actually attend Men’s group. Rome, however, has been a part of a bible study, Saturday morning meet-up, or bro-squad of some form since about a year before we were engaged. It is one of my favorite things that Rome goes out and does. He seeks it out with intentionality and is committed to attending.
What qualifies as a men’s group? For me, it’s a gathering of Christian men who come together to share, to learn, and to teach other men how to live according to God’s word with practicality. I made up this definition through observation because some of the men’s groups that Rome attends are not always bible studies in the conventional sense. Sometimes they are a bunch of guys sitting around a campfire, discussing what it means to be a black Christian man in America and about Lecrae’s latest album. Other times it is a group meeting at the church for the specific reason of learning to be a better husband, father, and leader of the home.
Some of the reasons I am pushing Rome out of the door when I know he is going to men’s group:
1. He needs to be surrounded by like-minded men. My husband needs godly men who are going to sit around with him and talk about how they love their wives, how they do their jobs to God’s glory, and how they are growing and learning. Through these groups, he has built fellowship and gained mentors. He never has to feel alone when he is struggling because he is surrounded by such a great cloud of man-witnesses that encourage and help him.
Hebrews 12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,

2. It provides a place where he can be completely honest with guys he trusts.
More about letting a few trustworthy people within your couple business in another post, but there is a rule within most of the men’s groups that Rome is a part of: don’t talk to anyone outside about what goes on in men’s group. Because of this rule, many of the men feel more comfortable sharing some of their shameful, difficult sins and struggles without fear of their business being in the streets.
The accountability that Rome gets from these relationships is unmatched because every time they meet, they check in with their struggles, fears, and problems. These brothers are holding each other up during the torrential rains of the various seasons of life.

Psalm 27:17- As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another
1 Thessalonians 5:11 Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.

3. Prayer. Have you watched men of God pray for something in faith? I have, it’s a phenomenal thing to behold. I think that God holds a special ear for the prayer of men for their wives, family, country, city, world, etc. I think beautiful things would happen if more men were absolutely committed to prayer within the body of Christ.
James 5:16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

These are just a few reasons why I am a big proponent of men’s group. I have seen a difference in the way that my husband leads our family, the way he works at his job, the way he treats me, and the way that we deal with problems as a direct result of men’s group.
For those of you who are saying: “Lise this is great and all, but my hubby/fiancé/boyfriend does not have this group of guys surrounding him that are serious about the Lord. I want him to have this. How can I help him?”
Glad you asked- as with everything, I am always going to encourage you to pray about this. Pray very specifically about what you want God to do in your husband’s life and in his relationships. Pray that he will have men around him that will help him to be sharpened and prepared to fight against temptation and every evil. Truly, this helps. Also, tell your husband that you are praying very specifically for this so that he can also have an eye out for guys that can be a part of his cohort of godly man-friends.
Some of you are saying, “Well my beau is so busy already, I don’t know if he will have time to add this in.” Don’t fret, there’s ample time within a day! He should try and find one hour a week (or every other week) where he can meet up with maybe ONE guy. It can be during lunch, right after work, before work, before working out, etc. There’s no standard for this, and he definitely can make it fit his life.

Love you guys!
Lise