Shortly after getting married, I realized that I would have to be very selective in who I allowed myself to get advice from. There were all kinds of people that latched on to me because I was young and married. I know that they meant well and wanted me to avoid the mistakes they made, but they tried to give me all kinds of foolish advice. If I listened to what EVERYONE was telling me to do in my relationship, I don’t even know where we would be. My hubby feels the same way about a lot of the advice he has received.

On the other hand there is a group of women in my church who took me under their wing since I joined the couples’ class. One of them is my mentor. I did premarital counseling with her and her husband of 30+ years and it was the best thing I could have ever done for my marriage. She has given me some of the best advice and I still ask her questions every time one comes up. I thought I would share one of the nuggets with you.

As an African – American woman, I ALWAYS wear a scarf to sleep. I have been doing this since I was a baby child. My husband knew who he was marrying and so didn’t expect anything less. I have been meaning to invest in a satin pillow, but I feel like the effect will be the same since I don’t sleep with my hair in all of its glorious fro-ness but in two buns on either side of my head or in two strand twists (I’m just being real).

I say this to say that I don’t go to bed how I go out into the world, but my hubby still has to see it. In fact, he is the only one who has to see it! I felt like it wasn’t fair to him since I knew how much he loved seeing my hair out and playing with it. I wanted to show him that I still cared about how he sees me when I go to bed (mind you, my husband always tells me that I look beautiful, even with sweatpants, hair tied, chillin with no makeup on)

My mentor gave me this piece of advice.

Always come to bed smelling lovely. THIS. This is something I can control. I can do this!

I bought some lotions and sprays  from Bath and Body Works to put on after my evening shower, and I have to admit, it feels decadent to get in the bed smelling like a cupcake. Even more, I make the entire bed smell like hot chocolate and vanilla pastries. Who doesn’t want to smell like a lemon tart when they go to sleep so they can dream of birthday cake and glazed doughnuts from Krispy Kreme? Success.

Plus, bae loves it. He noticed immediately (I mean how can you not when your bed smells like sweet potato pie?) and was sure to tell me that he loved it and appreciated all the effort I was putting into our marriage.

Yeah, all that from 3 sprays of something that smells like dessert. 100 points to Gryffindor!

Ladies, try it out and let me know if you utilize smell-goods to add some beauty to your sleep routine.

Fellas, ladies love it when you smell nice. Trust me. Try using a new cologne when you go out, I bet she will notice and compliment it. If you aren’t sure which one she will like, have her pick it out. I know I am super selective about colognes that my guy wears and I take a certain pride in knowing that he is wearing what I picked out because of my excellent nose.

Have fun in your marriages!

Lise

Tutti Dolce Collection – Body Crème and Fragrance Mist in Golden Honey Praline

Golden Magnolia Fine Fragrance Mist

A Thousand Wishes Fine Fragrance Mist