Month: April 2017

We Don’t Talk Anymore (Cause You’re in Med School)

Posted on by Analise

“You are always so busy!”

“How do you even have time to be here right now?”

“I feel like you are about to rush off somewhere to doctor on someone!”

These are just a few of the many quotes I got during my stint in medical school. Yes, medical students are extremely busy. We are always studying, learning how to be a doctor, or asleep.

The things that my friends, husband, or family members did to encourage me made me feel like a human again after all the studying. These are some of the things I loved.

Encouraging texts/calls. Even though I didn’t respond within normal-person timeframes, seeing these and knowing that my friends were thinking about me energized me to complete my next task. There are a number of rough days that I had that were made bearable by the kind and encouraging texts that I got from my friends (I guess this has to do with my Words of Affirmation love language). The texts contained scripture, encouraging words, or simple messages of love and changed the tone of my entire day.

Understanding if “something comes up”– I frequently tried to estimate when I would be leaving the hospital and was quickly reminded of why I was not a math major. I was COMPLETELY WRONG. I said things like, “Oh at 5 pm we can go grab coffee,” and then I wouldn’t leave the hospital till 9 pm because “something came up”. Real things would come up, too! If a patient was dying, I couldn’t just say, “Oh you guys got this? I have a coffee date with someone, see you tomorrow!”

This one really bothered me because I valued the time that I got to spend with my friends/family and it was sad when I had to cancel plans with them. Because of the wonderful friends I have, they were understanding and we would just take a raincheck.

Coming with me to random medical school functions that have nothing to do with you. I wanted to take part in everything that my medical school had to offer, so I had to attend at least SOME of the parties for students. My husband was a champion for this one. He was at EVERYTHING. He loved being there and was always engaged. This meant the world to me and was another way for us to spend quality time together.

Make adjustments to align our schedules. Once my friends got the hang of what the medical students were doing and when, we worked our schedules accordingly to fit each other in. For instance, on some rotations, lunch is from 12-1. Rome would sometimes come and pick me up from the hospital as soon as I was released for lunch and we would go somewhere and spend time with each other and eat. Another time, during my preclinical years, a friend of mine came up to the hospital and we grabbed some food in the hospital. We adjusted our schedules so we could meet up and spend some time catching up with each other.

 

Honestly, if you are taking the time to read this post and think through how best you can support and be there for your friend/significant other during a time that is arguably the hardest in their life, you are already a step in the right direction. Anything you do from here will be greatly appreciated by them, even if they don’t verbalize it.
Love you guys!

Lise

 

 

Encouraging My Husband

Posted on by Analise

 

Rome’s shoulders were slumped. He held his face in his hands as he berated himself about the mistake he just made. He couldn’t believe that he was so careless and let something like this happen. Rome, my guy, was devastated.

When I see him in these moods, my heart breaks for him. I want to fix it immediately so we can go back to being goofy and full of laughter. This is the part where I take off every other hat I have in my arsenal and put on the hat of his helper. It is one of the wife-roles that I love because it makes me feel like I am empowered specially by Holy Spirit to help my guy. This is one of the things God MADE me to do.

 

These are some of the things that I do as my husband’s help-meet, his girl, and his friend to encourage him.

I pray deep intercessory prayers for him.

I love going to the Lord about my man. God and I want the same thing for him (ie- I want whatever God wants for him). When I am praying about him, I feel like God is just saying, “You know, I was thinking the same thing, Lise!” Plus, I love seeing God answer my prayers that I don’t tell Rome about. God just drops things in my guy’s mind and he thinks he came up with it, but really, it is God’s way of saying to me that he heard me and he is speaking to Rome about what I am telling him about.

I remind him of scripture.

This comes easily to me because I remind myself of scripture ALL THE TIME when I need encouragement. The word is one of the greatest tools that a wife has in her belt to encourage her hubby. I love putting the specific verses on notecards and leaving them on his desk or his computer because it lets him know I was thinking about him and thinking of verses that might be helpful to him.

I show him that I am his cheerleader.

I am Rome’s number 1 fan! Seeing my husband being beat up by the world is another reason to remind him that in my eyes, he is chosen, loved by God, special, capable, etc. I have learned that he needs to hear it from me! Instead of dwelling on the bad and reminding him of the bad things all the time, I try to give him some compliments on things I know he is trying to work on.

Example: Honey, you have been doing an excellent job with protecting me and our home. I can’t tell you how much I love that. 😉

I make his day easier.

When Rome is under a lot of stress, I can see him getting overwhelmed by all of his responsibilities and commitments. He simply can’t be superman all the time. So, I help him out and bear the burdens with him.

A simple, “Honey, how can I help you with all the things you are doing?”  works wonders and makes him feel like he can manage things a little better.

 

 

These things are simple and sometimes take just a couple of minutes to do. I didn’t realize how much a kind and encouraging word meant until I started being intentional about encouraging him.

 

Verses for Reference

Genesis 2:18 The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

 

Love you guys!

Lise