One of the things that I wish more people talked about in medicine is impostor syndrome. More like, I wish that more people talked about how to overcome it in a healthy way.
Personally, my impostor syndrome is so frequently with me that she has a name. Let’s call her Sheila. Sheila has been with me for many years now. The further I got into my medical training and now my career, more powerful like one of the protagonists from the epic novels I love so much. She has been training with me the whole way as well. Every single step, she has gotten stronger with me.
My impostor syndrome has fed on the little voice in the back of my mind that tells me I am not good enough. It also makes me question if my successes are even worth being proud of.
It fuels my discontentment. It makes me lack confidence. It is unwelcome.
I am working through what it means for me to release Sheila or even just shrink her from her Goliath size to someone smaller, more reasonable, and with better eyesight. I can’t just walk away or ignore her, but now I am realizing that she is affecting every single area of my life.
These are the things I am doing to put her back where she belongs.
- Watch what I am saying to myself. She is what I say to myself when no one is watching, which means that I can change what I am saying to myself. The more resistance she has to saying these things, the less she can actually say. I am saying more true and encouraging things to myself.
- Remind myself of who I am. I need constant reminders of who I am to battle Sheila. My diplomas from all of my training, my medals from the races I have completed, etc. She shuts up with proof that I am who I say I am. See? Not an impostor.
- Don’t live in fear. Lastly, Sheila wants me to stop, in fear that other people will see that I am truly an impostor. I am not pretending to be anyone other than myself, so there is nothing to fear.
I am imperfect, but I am growing. She isn’t invited.
Hope this helps you this year too!
Lise