“You are always so busy!”
“How do you even have time to be here right now?”
“I feel like you are about to rush off somewhere to doctor on someone!”
These are just a few of the many quotes I got during my stint in medical school. Yes, medical students are extremely busy. We are always studying, learning how to be a doctor, or asleep.
The things that my friends, husband, or family members did to encourage me made me feel like a human again after all the studying. These are some of the things I loved.
Encouraging texts/calls. Even though I didn’t respond within normal-person timeframes, seeing these and knowing that my friends were thinking about me energized me to complete my next task. There are a number of rough days that I had that were made bearable by the kind and encouraging texts that I got from my friends (I guess this has to do with my Words of Affirmation love language). The texts contained scripture, encouraging words, or simple messages of love and changed the tone of my entire day.
Understanding if “something comes up”– I frequently tried to estimate when I would be leaving the hospital and was quickly reminded of why I was not a math major. I was COMPLETELY WRONG. I said things like, “Oh at 5 pm we can go grab coffee,” and then I wouldn’t leave the hospital till 9 pm because “something came up”. Real things would come up, too! If a patient was dying, I couldn’t just say, “Oh you guys got this? I have a coffee date with someone, see you tomorrow!”
This one really bothered me because I valued the time that I got to spend with my friends/family and it was sad when I had to cancel plans with them. Because of the wonderful friends I have, they were understanding and we would just take a raincheck.
Coming with me to random medical school functions that have nothing to do with you. I wanted to take part in everything that my medical school had to offer, so I had to attend at least SOME of the parties for students. My husband was a champion for this one. He was at EVERYTHING. He loved being there and was always engaged. This meant the world to me and was another way for us to spend quality time together.
Make adjustments to align our schedules. Once my friends got the hang of what the medical students were doing and when, we worked our schedules accordingly to fit each other in. For instance, on some rotations, lunch is from 12-1. Rome would sometimes come and pick me up from the hospital as soon as I was released for lunch and we would go somewhere and spend time with each other and eat. Another time, during my preclinical years, a friend of mine came up to the hospital and we grabbed some food in the hospital. We adjusted our schedules so we could meet up and spend some time catching up with each other.
Honestly, if you are taking the time to read this post and think through how best you can support and be there for your friend/significant other during a time that is arguably the hardest in their life, you are already a step in the right direction. Anything you do from here will be greatly appreciated by them, even if they don’t verbalize it.
Love you guys!
Lise